Malik for President
by I wear hug-a-me jackets
Summary: The title says it all, Malik runs for president, Rated R for Isis and Seto's odd behavior... [CH. 5 UP! YAY]
1. Going to America and a hyper Seto

Disclaimer: WHY CAN'T I OWN ANYBODY *goes to Japan in a Ninja suit* I can go get him now...  
  
Laura: 0.0 I've gone insane wah *goes into a corner*  
  
Aiyama: o.O; Teddy-chan..  
  
Cutegirl: O_O  
  
Aiyama: Rebecca will FALL! *attacked by Teddy-chan* AHH GAAAAAAA! *rips Teddy-chan's arm off*  
  
Malik: so much violence 0.0 I love it  
  
Aiyama: *makes the ebil pig bite Teddy-chan's head off* ^.^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Malik: *grumbles* Evil sister *mumble* dragging me off to America.....  
  
Isis: oh shut up Malik -_-;  
  
Malik: blah blah blah *crosses arms* stupid plane  
  
Yami: -_-; I don't see how I was dragged in  
  
Joey: -_-;  
  
Tristan: -_-;  
  
Tea: *drunken as hell asleep*  
  
Yami: Oo; we had to drug her since she hates flights  
  
Bakura: *wiggles in his seat* this is annoying BY RA I'M GONNA GET OUTTA HERE  
  
Malik: O_O *goes shimmer eyed* YOUR NOT GOING TO LEAAAAAVEEEE MEEE!  
  
Bakura: fine....  
  
Seto: ^___^  
  
Isis: . Seto are you.....ok?  
  
Seto: ^______^ uh huh *eats a bag of M&Ms*  
  
Isis: Oo;  
  
Joey: WOOHOO WHERE GOIN TO AMERICA!  
  
Tristan: ^.^  
  
Joey: *glomps Tristan* I shall make the time go faster for both of us!  
  
Tristan: ^__^  
  
Yami: Oo;  
  
Bakura: O_O;  
  
(The group finally lands in America with Yami having to carry Tea out Oo; Malik finds out what a president is..)  
  
Malik: hmm this president thing...  
  
Isis: ....-_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Malik: HA I SHALL DO THIS *uses quote in quote out fingers* "Presidental Elections"  
  
Bakura: Oo; cool  
  
Rebecca: Hm Mr. Teddy? Whats that? People are here?  
  
Malik: o_O; Mr. Teddy? BWAHAHAHA *doubles over laughing*  
  
Rebecca: *kicks Malik in the groin* TAKE THAT EVIL MAN!  
  
Malik: O__________O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Bakura: O_O MALIK!  
  
Joey: *falls over with Tristan doing the nasty*  
  
Rebecca: Oo; Hey Misters whatchya doin?  
  
Isis: *covers Rebecca's eyes*  
  
Malik: *hops around* O____O *in squeaky voice* You little bitch!  
  
Bakura: Oo;;;;;  
  
Tea: *finally wakes up*  
  
*Alien space ship goes by*  
  
Yami: *walking off with Tea* America is strange...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Oo; The first chappie on this one is kinda sensless I'm bashing me....I am an American! *jumps off the cliff* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE dun worry about this the ficcy WILL get better with Malik trying to become President with his slogan "IF YOU DON'T VOTE FOR ME I'LL BURN YOU!" 


	2. The MIB Democrats

Disclaimer: O_O *puts on a ninja suit* I shall own the YGO cast!  
  
I wear hug-a-me jackets: o_O;  
  
Yami Aiyama: I've noticed now I'm appearing more....  
  
Cutegirl: I rarely ever appear...  
  
I wear hug-a-me jackets: Oo; um well ehehehehe...*anime sweatdrop*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(eh *stops eating the peanutbutter and jelly doughnut* O.O oh yes as we left off Malik and everyone was in America!)  
  
Malik: *has ice on *ahem* O__O* -____-;;;;;;;;;;; I shall kill that brat  
  
Bakura: *sitting there snickering*  
  
Malik: *kicks Bakura* shut up  
  
Bakura: ow!  
  
Joey: *walking into the hotel room with Tristan both of there hair messed up*  
  
Yami: Oo; OMG you guys are nasty  
  
Tristan: so? YOU did *AHEM AHEM* with Tea!  
  
Yami: *blushes* yeah well at least she's a WOMAN  
  
Seto: ^________________^ *still eating the M&Ms*  
  
Yami: *looks at Seto* Oo; er..well I'm leaving...  
  
Tristan: yeah you do that  
  
Bakura: I'll make sure Joey and Tristan don't impale anybody with there hair...  
  
Tristan: HEY YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  
  
Bakura: shut up boy!  
  
Tristan: *impales him with his hair*  
  
Bakura: ouchies x_____X  
  
Malik: *walks out*  
  
~*~  
  
Malik: -___-; baboons all of them..except for Bakura *goes all chibi eyed* aww my sweet sweet Bakura-chan *-*  
  
MIB: hey you mister  
  
Malik: O_O AH! WERE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!  
  
MIB: Oo; er no..hey come over here for a sec..  
  
Malik: o.- you really think I'm that dumb don't you?  
  
MIB: er..yeah  
  
Malik: uh OK! *walks over to him* (A/N: XD LOL I made Malik stupid..)  
  
MIB: Hey I'm a democratic and I want YOU to run for president  
  
Malik: I was already planning to but..yeah I'll do it  
  
MIB: ok now what should your slogan be?  
  
Malik: how 'bout "IF YOU DON'T VOTE FOR ME I'LL MAKE YOU VOTE FOR ME!"  
  
MIB: how can you MAKE them vote for you?  
  
Malik: *holds up millennium rod* see *points* this baby right here can control people!  
  
MIB: ok well meet me tomorrow by the doughnut shop ok ok bye! *runs off*  
  
Malik: mmm doughnuts..  
  
~*~  
  
Bakura: *runs outside* ah where is my beloved Malik?!  
  
Malik: O_O *goes shimmery eyed* you DO care about me!  
  
Bakura: O_O *shimmery eyed also* YES I DO!  
  
Malik: *glomps Bakura*  
  
~*~  
  
Bakura: *walks in hotel room with Malik*  
  
Tristan: and you call US nasty..  
  
Joey: yea!  
  
Yami: OH shut up *walks out*  
  
Bakura: its not like we actully *DID* anything  
  
Joey: oh..  
  
Mokuba: *poping out of no where* I hear Rebecca is running for president  
  
Malik: O_O I SHALL BE VICTORIOUS AGAINST HER!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
When Life throws you Lemons, throw them right back at Life's head screaming "I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS!" ^.^ its my new saying lol well I'm going to get Malik in the presidental elections soon enough! *plans to take over Tokyo first* ^.^ *eats chopsticks* mmmm wooody.. 


	3. Seto's stoned and Malik gets a first Lad...

Disclaimer: I'm special......I'm special......I'm spe--  
  
Chibi Random person: no your not!  
  
Disclaimer: *glare*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(So.....as our mindless journy goes on and on and on and on)  
  
Chibi random person: DAMNIT WILL YOU GIVE ME A NAME?!  
  
(No, No I won't!)  
  
~*~  
  
Malik: *walking through* o_O GOD I'M LOST AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOT PAST MY DOOR!  
  
Joey: stupid demented soda machine! *kicks it*  
  
Malik: okay mabey I got somehwere.....@_@ I don't know where I'm going!  
  
Aiyama: *popping out of no where* Then you need a.......  
  
Malik: What?  
  
Aiyama: A MAP!  
  
Yami Malik: *running through* MY NAME IS TERMARINE damnit! *runs off*  
  
Malik: o_O; how did my Yami get out?! *chases after him*  
  
~*~  
  
MIB: what is taking that stupid kid so long?!  
  
~*~  
  
Malik: *finds the doughnut shop finally* oOoOo o_O; doughnuts!  
  
Bakura: o_O; Mu ha ha ha ha *corny evil crackle*  
  
Yami Aiyama: *clinging to Bakura like a leech*  
  
Sariah: -_- I still say Ryou is MUCH cuter than Bakura....  
  
Malik: HEY! This is my scene! not yours! *pushes them all out*  
  
All: -_____-  
  
MIB: *dragging Malik into the doughnut shop* OKAY  
  
Malik: *stealing the coffee*  
  
~*~  
  
Mokuba: *sitting there with Isis poking at the stoned Seto*  
  
Seto: x____X WEEEE! *throws hands up in the air* I LUV EVERYONE! *glomps Isis*  
  
Isis: gah! RAPE!!  
  
~*~  
  
Malik: *chewing on his doughnut* so I have to beat Rebecca in this *uses quote in quote out fingers* "Presidental Elections"?  
  
MIB: yes  
  
Malik: That seems easy enough  
  
Aiyama: *running through on a sugar high*  
  
~*~  
  
Chibi Random Person: ......  
  
(........)  
  
Chibi Random Person: ......  
  
(.........)  
  
Chibi Random Person: -___- *walks off*  
  
(haha I always win the staring contest)  
  
~*~  
  
Joey: *having a starting contest with a giant statue of a chicken* oh he's good  
  
Tristan: Joey....thats a giant chicken statue....  
  
Joey: shh I'm concentrating!  
  
Bakura: You stupid boy  
  
Yami Aiyama: *clinging to Bakura's arm*  
  
~*~  
  
Isis: *pushes Mokuba out of the hotel room*  
  
Mokuba: HEY! HEY! Why can't I be in there?!  
  
Isis: *drunk* becaaaase *slurring* me and your brothea wants some quality times!  
  
Mokuba: actully your drunk  
  
*Door slams*  
  
Mokuba: god damnit  
  
~*~  
  
MIB: *going on* and thats the plan  
  
Malik: *munching on his doughnut still* all I heard was blah blah blah  
  
MIB: -____-  
  
Malik: Okay so Tomorrow I start this weird presidental election thing?  
  
MIB: yes......  
  
Malik: HAHAHA NOW I CAN RULE THE WORD! *evil crackle* MWAHAHAHAHAHaHah!  
  
~*~  
  
(And so the stupid next daaaaaaaaay)  
  
Malik: *walking around*  
  
Aiyama: *following Malik around wearing a bunch of "SUPPORT MALIK!" and "VOTE FOR MALIK!" buttons* ^_____^  
  
Bakura: Malik I think that girl likes you  
  
Malik: NAH! Stupid....  
  
Bakura: -___-  
  
Tristan and Joey: *popping out of no where* so you were faking your relashionship?  
  
Yaoi Fans: aww  
  
Anti-Yaoi Fans: YAY!  
  
Joey: *bitch slaps the Anti-Yaoi Fans and runs off screaming "SUPPORT YAOI!"*  
  
Tristan: *runs after Joey*  
  
Malik: o_O; oh well I need a first lady  
  
Bakura: *biting his fingernails* so?  
  
Malik: I'll just use her....she seems attached enough already  
  
Yami Aiyama: I'M TAKING MY ABIOU HOME!!  
  
Malik: NOO! *stabs her with the millenium key*  
  
Yami Aiyama: x__X ow  
  
Bakura: *gasp* YOU BITCH! *thwaps Malik*  
  
Malik: ow!!  
  
~*~  
  
Seto: *waking up from his "sleep"* Oo; *looks around* why am I naked?  
  
Isis: *waking up* O.O;; AHHH!  
  
Seto: *looks at her* AHH! hey we where drunk *stupid-cocky-Seto-grin*  
  
Both: *jump out of the bed and run around trying to get dressed*  
  
Isis: MY BROTHER IS GOING TO KILL YOU!  
  
~*~  
  
Malik: I'M GOING TO KILL SETO!  
  
Aiyama: why?  
  
Malik: ........I have no clue why right now.....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Will Malik ever get anywhere in the elections? Will Rebecca ever come back in? Will Joey finally stop bitch slapping all the Anti-Yaoi fans? And will the MIB ever get a diffrent job???  
  
I dunno read and find out! REEEEEEVVVVIIIEEEEEWWWWW!! You just have to click that little button and REEEEEVIIIIEEEEWWWW!! 


	4. Not suitable for children!

Disclaimer: I Don't own Malik..Nor do I own Sariah.she's YamiJupiter's character! XD AND I want to thank A.K.A Talenless she gave me a good idea *evil grin to Malik and Bakura*  
  
Malik: o_O she has that "look"  
  
Bakura: Usually she has the "hell hath no wrath" glare on  
  
I wear hug-a-me jackets: -___- *smacks both*  
  
Malik: OW!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(SO! As the mabey never-ending story continues!)  
  
Chibi Random Person: o.o you...you glomped me...  
  
(er...so?)  
  
Chibi Random Person: *heart eyes* I..I think I'm in love  
  
(WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! GAH! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!)  
  
~*~  
  
Joey: *blinks* Tea..I-I think I'm pregnant  
  
Tea: um Joey you're a guy....  
  
Joey: and either you or Tristan is the father  
  
Tristan: *frolics through* I'MA FATHER! *trips*  
  
Joey: TRISTAN! KOISHII! *glomps Tristan*  
  
Tea: I can't be a father anyways...*sigh*  
  
Tristan: Why not?  
  
Tea: I'm already pregnant!  
  
Joey: *surprised* YOU ARE?!  
  
Tea: Haven't you noticed Yugi hasn't come in yet?  
  
Yami: *popping out of no where* yes haven't you? *nods*  
  
~*~  
  
Malik: *blinks* Wheres Aiyama?  
  
Bakura: She left..signed a contract with Otogi to be his "True" Fan-girl  
  
Malik: -___- what did he bribe her with?  
  
Bakura: Ice-cream  
  
Malik: ONTO PLAN B! *drags Bakura off*  
  
~*~  
  
Mokuba: So Ryou's Yami is going to be your first woman...er..man..WHATEVER!  
  
Malik: yes he's going to be my first lady...man...whatever! He looks like a girl anyways!  
  
Bakura: Well You do to!  
  
Malik: except for my un-feminine  
  
Bakura: I have an un-feminine voice!  
  
Malik: I know my  
  
~*~  
  
Isis: *cough* You don't think I'm pregnant..do you?  
  
Seto: You could be  
  
Isis: *thwaps him* YOUR NOT HELPING!  
  
Seto: so? I'm a selfish bastard!  
  
Isis: O.O I think I liked you better when you were high on M&Ms  
  
Seto: uh..how bout we just go back into the bed and *AHEM*  
  
Isis: mmm okay!  
  
Both: *jump back into the bed*  
  
~*~  
  
Malik: *covering Bakura completely with "VOTE FOR MALIK!" buttons*  
  
Bakura: OW! YOU STABBED ME WITH ONE!  
  
Malik: oh stop being a pansy! HOLD STILL  
  
Bakura: HOLD STILL?! You stabbing me with little pins!  
  
Malik: wimp  
  
~*~  
  
Rebecca: I am a democratic! *hugs her ripped up Teddy-chan* .. *blinks* OH NO! TEDDY-CHAN! WHO HAS HURT YOU  
  
Aiyama: *comes in with one of Teddy-chan's arms*  
  
Rebecca: O_O NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
~*~  
  
Yami: ..Tea your pregnant...  
  
Tea: I'm pregnant..  
  
Yami: ...  
  
Tea: YOU JERK! YOU GOT ME PREGNANT! *starts beating on Yami*  
  
Yami: OW OW!! I'M SORRY! OW!!  
  
~*~  
  
Malik: *sighs* so...  
  
Bakura: ..  
  
Malik: this is boring  
  
Bakura: yep  
  
Malik: .....  
  
Bakura: ....*glomps Malik*  
  
Malik: o_O okay okay! Uh wheres the hotel bedroom?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I've gone insane..and made almost everyone horny o_O;;; I WANT to thank A.K.A. Talentless the person who came up with the "First Lady Man Whatever" Thing ^_^ THANK YOU!! NOW YOU MUST REEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA *trips* HAHAHAHAHA!! REVIEW!! PLEASE!! REVIEW!!! I beg you! Pwease? *chibi cute eyes* O.O  
  
Chibi Random Person: I-I LOVE YOU!!  
  
You've gone insane..  
  
Chibi Random Person: but I love you!  
  
o_O 


	5. 1 800 IhateOverlyAnnoyingGirls

Disclaimer: Well I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh OF COURSE. *sobs* I WILL OWN HIM ONE DAY!! *pops back out in a ninja suit* 

Laura: ...*drools*

Malik: *waves a hand infront of her face* I...think she's drooling

Ryouga: No duh! Of course she's drooling!

Laura: Maybe it you kiss me Ryouga I'll be back to normal! *goes back to drooling*

Ryouga: Hey Maybe if I kiss her she'll be back to normal!

Yami Aiyama: She JUST said that.

Quicky author note: *Ahem* *coughs* ;-; I'm SOOOOOOOOOO freakin sorry for delays. I've been SO busy. Damn school, and damn writers block!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Well anyways as we left off they were all...uh doing "stuff")

Malik: Well if I'm correct YOU made us do that "stuff"

(Did not!)

Malik: Did too!

(Liar.)

Malik: I woud…NEVER LIE!

~*~*~*~

Seto: *stares at Isis*

Isis: *stares at Seto*

….

*Both start making out*

~*~*~*~

Malik: PEOPLE OF AMERICA!

People of America: Yes?

Malik: *stares at them* BOW DOWN TO ME! 

Chibi Random Person: *Yelling out from the crowd* I WANNA SEE THE FIRST LADY!!

Malik: uh…o_o; *runs back behind a curtain* Pssst Bakura come out! 

Bakura: No way in hell.

Malik: *shoves him out*

Chibi Random Person: Wow now that's an ugly lady!

Bakura: Well no ones perfect

No one: I resent that.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Anzu: Okay so maybe I overreacted a little bit

Yami: *snorts* A LITTLE BIT?!

Tea: FRIENDSHIP HUG!!

Yami: AHH!! WHERES ANZU?!

~*~*~*~*~

Malik: I'm switching over to Republican because that's the COOOL side

Bakura: *covered in buttons*

~*Somewhere wherever Rebecca is*~

Rebecca: WHY HAVE I BEEN CHANGED TO DEMOCRATIC?! AND I'M SO FLAMING RICH!!

~*Back to Malik*~

Malik: *snickers* I hate annoying weasel girls

Misao: I RESENT THAT

Malik: FINE! I hate annoying girls

Yugi: Hey now, annoying girls have feelings too, and with your help you could feed an overly annoying girl, just call 1-800-IhateOverlyAnnoyinggirls.

Malik: *picks up the phone*

~*~*~*~

Tea: *singing at the moment* I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts and here they are a standin' in a row 

Yami: *rocking back and forth* O_O MAKE IT STOOOOP

Tea: some small, some big, SOME BIG AS YOUR HEAD

Yami: NOOOO

~*~*~*~*~

Mokuba: *talking to Noah* Okay so I'm sorry Noah, I now know that I love you.

Noah: OH MOKUBA! I knew you'd see it my way!  *Gets ready to tackle him*  
  
Mokuba: AHH I MEANT IT AS A BROTHER!!

Noah: Oh fiddlesticks

~*~*~*~*~

Malik: *snickers and stares at all the people*

Mindless Zombie American People: Yes Master Malik

Bakura: Well that didn't take long….

No one: I RESENT THAT *cries*

Malik: Yeah and your supposed to be acting like a lady!

Bakura: A lady?! OKAY! FINE! *giggles then jumps into Malik's arms*

Malik: O__________________O;;;;;;;;;;;;;; *falls over*

Yami and Anzu: O_O! *covers Yugi's eyes*

Yugi: AHHH I'M BLIND!!

~*~*~*~*~

Otogi: Getting drunk….I hate dubs *sobs*

Serenity: *sigh* I know what you mean, they changed everyones names! ;-; I don't really even know if my real name is Serenity!

Otogi: I know, I know, but I know my name, but….they named me DUKE!

Aiyama: Oh well, ya know they named Malik Marik, and Bakura was named Yami Bakura, and then there was Ryou Bakura! Oh and Anzu Tea and *rambles on*

Otogi: *Swirly eyed*

~*~*~*~*~

Malik: *finally getting up, still holding Bakura* _______;; HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?!

Bakura: Its not polite to ask a lady that.

Malik: *drops him* Polite my ass

Yami: *looks over at Anzu* ANZU! *tackles*

Anzu: I didn't go anywhere!

Yugi: Actually *rewinding the tape* You clearly ran after me after I ran off to find doughnuts

Malik: You know this story is about me becoming President!! ITS ABOUT ME!!

Bakura: Did you say something?

*Breaking glass sound*

Malik and Bakura: O_O; *runs off*

Yami: OOOH sure they leave me to clean up the mess.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

T_T; I'm soooooooo sorry if it's a short chapter again, I had it down already and the computer screwed up ;__;

Ryouga: *Kisses Laura*

Laura: AND DON'T FORGET TO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! *Glomps Ryouga*

Anyone: *holds up a sign* [BOO!!]

Yami Aiyama: *screams and runs off*


End file.
